Sunday, November 21, 2010

The hardest thing to say...

If you think back in time you will find that one person that was always there for you. That one person that comes to mind more then others because of the things they did for you. Sometimes it can be a friend, it can be a family member, or it could be someone who started off as a complete stranger. When I think back to when I was really sick, a few people pop into my head. My sisters, my parents, my nurses, my counselor, my friends, my doctors, I think I could go on and on. However one person always stands out even more, one person that I feel deserves a lot more from me then I can give her. If she doesn’t already know that I’m talking about her, it’s my Mom!
Thank-you; to express gratitude, appreciation, or acknowledgment.
It’s such a simple two-syllable word to say, but yet we often don’t find the time to say it. Why not? Since I for one find it hard to say thank you after the fact, to just randomly go up to someone and say “thank you for EVERYTHING you’ve done for me”, I’m going to do it now, I’m going to say thank you to one of the people in my life who deserves to hear it every day!
Thank you for absolutely everything you have ever done for me, before and after I got sick, but mostly for when I was sick. You sat beside my bed, wiped my tears, cried with me, watched movies with me, laid with me, rubbed my back, cut my toe nails, washed my hair, and many other things that probably don’t need to be brought out specifically online. I don’t find the time to say it, but you definitely deserve it.
My mom was my main support when I was sick, she took time off work to go to St. John’s with me and slept in a chair beside my bed for 2 weeks, and then she again took time off work to go back to St. John’s for 3 months. She was by my side every day. She was the last face I saw before going into surgery, and usually the first face I woke up to. She was there when I learned how to stand up again, when I learned how to walk again. She was there through everything. My parents always said that they would take it all away in a heartbeat if they could, but I wouldn’t let them. I could never be as strong as they were, I could never be that supportive beside someone’s bed. I would be too scared, and helpless. And, I definitely wouldn’t be the person I am today without going through what I went through. But I also wouldn’t be where I am without my parents. The quote I live by now is “I have Crohn’s Disease, Crohn’s Disease does not have me” and it was my mother who first said something along those lines to me. My Mom taught me how to laugh at my disease, when the ostomy would make noise we would say it was talking to us. When something would go wrong, I would look at my mom and say “How come every time I see the light at the end of the tunnel, it decides to cave in and make me dig again?” She was there, and that was all I could ask for, a helping hand, a supportive smile, and a friend!
I guess in the end I just want to say that one thing that most of us find hard to say…


Colleen Lynn

“I have Crohn’s Disease, Crohn’s Disease does not have me!"

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