Friday, November 5, 2010

The Downside to Crohnies

Even those of us who suffer from IBD can fall victim to its elusive external attributes - we can look at our fellow Crohnies and not realize how sick their insides might be. We can form such close bonds with those who understand our most personal struggles, and I’ve found that seeing them sick can be the worst part of having IBD.

I was used to being the sick one amongst my peers at school, that was just the way it was. But to be the sick one amongst sick people meant more somehow - I felt more validated, more sick almost, because I was sick enough to deserve the attention and concern of other sick individuals. It’s almost as if we go through cycles, when one person is sick, everyone gets sick, emails of details exchanged between all of us. We attempt to offer solace and humor to each other, but above all, compassion and friendship.

Life is not fair - and I know that. But, why do others have to suffer? Isn’t it enough that one person suffers? It is heartbreaking to realize that others have been in the same amount of pain as I have been, it is harder to witness and endure when it is a close friend compared to myself. I wish so much that I could take away their pain and let them live their lives free of IBD.

My IBD friends have made the biggest difference in my life, and I owe so much to them. They deserve only the healthiest lives, and yet, many of them are sitting in hospital beds or on toilets, far from the ideal situation. And so, I could care less about a cure for myself, it’s for all of my friends, and those I haven’t met yet, that I will fight forever for.

Will you fight with me?


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