Relationships!

Relationships…At one point it was something I didn’t think much about. I didn’t care if I had a boyfriend or if I didn’t. I only dated a handful of people before I got sick, and none of them were serious relationships. And maybe saying a handful is a bit of an exaggeration because I really didn’t have many relationships. I was happy with just having friends. Once I got sick I guess it became someone to lean on. Someone to help me when I was sick or down. I got sick about 4 years ago now, and I’ve dated more people in the last 3 years then I think I did in my whole life.

In saying that, it’s never easy to date. Not only do I have Crohn’s Disease but I also have an Ileostomy, not exactly a first date conversation! The first guy I dated after I got sick was great about everything he looked it all up and found out everything he could, which was great because I still wasn’t 100% open about talking about it all. The next guy didn’t mind, as long as I was healthy, and so most of my relationships went. I think it took about a month before I told my first boyfriend about everything. I was scared of what he would think, what he would do, and whether he would accept it, and thankfully he did. I’m still scared when I tell a guy about everything. What if I fall for someone, what if I love someone and they don’t want to be with me because of everything. I know that he definitely isn’t worth it if he doesn’t accept me the way I am, but it still isn’t easy.

I learned that guys aren’t worth it if they don’t accept everything, but I learnt it the hard way. I dated one guy, and once I told him about everything, he seemed ok at first. I went to work, and he said while I was at work he would look everything up. Needless to say, I never heard from him again. I guess he got scared, maybe it was too much for him to handle, but it hurt. He could have done it all so differently, but he didn’t, and I had to accept what he did, and why he didn’t want to be with me. I think that made me a bit more cautious, I told guys quicker because I didn’t want to get hurt. I would tell them right away, that way if they wanted to leave then they could just take off before I got attached. I would no longer be hurt because someone didn’t want to deal with my disease. When it really comes down to it, they don’t have to really deal with it. They just have to understand what I’m going through.

I guess in the end as hard as it all was to accept it made me stronger. It made me accept everything that I have to deal with on a daily basis, and it made me realize that no guy, no matter how much you may like/love them, is worth a single tear. (And no girl is either.) If they love you then they wont care about anything, and if they care or it bothers them, then they aren’t worth your time!


“I have Crohn’s Disease, Crohn’s Disease does not have me!”
~Colleen Lynn