Monday, December 5, 2011

" I think I can!"

Time to give up the guilt

Hello all, I'm sorry it has been a while since my last post so I felt it was time I should check in with my gutsy crew!  Over the past few weeks many tears have been shed and only a few hairs pulled from my head.  Through all of this however, I can say that I am truly grateful!  Although life does not always seem to be going my way, ok lately most of the time it seems exactly the opposite, I am still so grateful for the life I have been given.  They say it’s not what you know, but who you know.  This quote has not reigned more true for me than it has in the past few years.  For those of you who don’t know me, I was diagnosed with severe crohns disease in 2008, and have been thankful for every healthy day I have had since.  Although the beginning of my journey was not a smooth one, misdiagnoses, endless medications and a very serious, very unrelated brain surgery a year following this first very life altering diagnosis, I am so grateful for what this journey has taught me so far.  And that is that I AM STRONG.  I am much stronger than I would have otherwise ever given myself credit for.  Having this disease, as well as my other speed bumps has taught me that, with the proper tools and support, I can do anything that I put my mind to,   

For years I have struggled with the idea of support.  I struggled with the idea that I cannot do this all on my own.  I felt weak when I asked for help, or when I needed certain accommodations to strive and succeed.  Recently I am beginning to understand that accepting and acknowledging the supports that are provided does not demonstrate that I am weak, yet it proves the very opposite.   In one week I will finish my degree in teaching.  I will be a certified BC teacher and finished my final practicum that 3 years ago, I was certain I would never be an option for me again.  Yet here I sit, days away from the completion of my second degree, although some days hanging on by a thread, I have made it thanks to the realization that it is ok to accept support, and acknowledge when it is needed.  I am the most fortunate girl to have the amazing support I do, both from the CCFC and the amazing friends I have met and from my amazing family and friends who have been with me on every step of this journey.  I have been fighting this battle using the words of The Little Engine That Could “ I think I can, I think I can, I think I can” and just finally I am beginning to believe it!

xoxo Shelby

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