Admittedly, I have a twisted sense of nostalgia. The past few weeks of blog posts have been consumed with ‘my last summer’, a phrase that is now as familiar to me as ‘once upon a time.’ But today really is the day, one year ago today, they wheeled me into the OR and 7 hours and an ostomy later, I emerged.
So now, on my first bag-birthday, I thought I’d share what I wrote the morning of my surgery, before my family came, before the nurses came, before the surgeons came, when it was just me, myself, and my colon.
“Calm Before The Storm”
But soon things will be crazy and non-stop, soon I will have no colon.
It’s finally August 10th and soon everyone will be at my bedside, crying I’m sure, and I’ll hold their hands and try not to let their crying make me start crying - but who can’t stop the urge to cry when her whole family is crying?
I don’t think I’m strong or brave. I think I’m ready for my life and if that means ready for this, then that’s what it means.
The calm before the storm may be nice, but I’m looking forward to the rainbow after the storm now.
I have to say, the rainbow is really nice from this end, even if it took some all-consuming battles to get here.